I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
