I'm jealous of your bromance
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
