I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
