can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
