She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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