At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
