NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize