I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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