we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
