I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
