talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
