So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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