Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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