i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I need a beard to bite.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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