My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize