you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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