oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I can text with my tongue
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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