If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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