Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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