I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
