I love black thongs
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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