hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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