time to smoke my breakfast
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
