Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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