She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
