Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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