you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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