I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
this is an emotional support booty call
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize