JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
