he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
