Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
