Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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