My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
