last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize