After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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