how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she peed on how many people?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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