I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
