im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
