: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
