I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
