first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
