Its about making memories worth repressing
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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