Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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