Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
