Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize