so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
