I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
