she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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