The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
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