So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
