I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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