just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
