dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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