I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
