i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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