I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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