you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
