I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
