6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
