I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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